In the Emptiness of Space, I Found Solace

Outer Wilds

A pandemic post-mortem on time, isolation, and cycles

I n a year of work-from-home, the days bled together in endless repeat.

Sleep cycles of oblivion folded into fits and bursts of work. The dance between façade and grasping for normalcy eroded with every hour of the day, until only a longing for escape remained: a game; a book; a drink; anything to distract from reality.

Yet even in escape, relief was temporary. The hours ticked forward, exhaustion came calling, and the cycle began again.

Alone; quarantined; locked down; in submission to the circumstances wrought upon ourselves; I sought to find some silver-lined solace in this isolated cycle of existence. And to my surprise, I found it: in the quiet emptiness of space; in the repeated cycle of life in finale.

Outer Wilds is a solar system locked in a singular eventuality.

In twenty-two minutes, the sun explodes.

When I die, I’ll begin again, twenty-two minutes before the end.

The hours bled together in repeat.

This metronome of time: of minutes ticking past; of time gained and time lost; is a constant unrelenting reminder:

Time is sovereign.

And as a mote drifting in its midst, there is undeniable beauty in its kingdom of nature:

Celestial bodies loom vast in a sea of emptiness;

The Sun burns bright, hot, and ever engulfing;

Torrents of sand shift betwixt twin planets locked in orbit;

Tides swell and shatter and scurry;

Gravity tugs ever relentless.

Only in submission to our own fragility: in acceptance of our inability to halt time’s progression or control the forces of nature around us; are we able to realize the path forward.

Because despite the entrapment of cycles, there is progress to be made here: piecing together a timeline of past and future events; excavating conversations and records of those who came before; experimenting with the various forces at play amidst panic and trepidation toward their consequences; planning and challenging the possibilities of what can be accomplished in the twenty-two minutes allotted. However manifested and to whatever ends, we chase our own curiosity in whatever ways we can, outwards.

Even after departing Outer Wilds; months later, a lasting imprint still echoes in my mind.

The linearity of our experience is not assured.

Sometimes we find ourselves caught in cycles, trapped in repeat, daunted by the enormity and cruel indifference of events no longer in our control. Worn down and stripped away; if all that remains is our curiosity, maybe that’s an okay starting point to begin from again. Our time is limited anyway.

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Outer Wilds by Mobius Digital @ mobiusdigitalgames.com/outer-wilds