When Social Distance Deigns You Play Video Games: An Inferior Medium Only Good For Wasting Time
Steam Remote Play, Crawl, Kind Words; a Social Distancing Survival Guide
Part of a week-long series to close out 2019, but somehow got co-opted into a very 2020 topic.
B y the end of 2018, among other things, I mourned the loss of consistent board game nights with friends. And yet, throughout the year that followed, I think we learned to slowly accommodate for the complexities of distance (read as: NYC Metro-North is now too high a barrier of entry for any of us to hang out anymore; I’m not judging, I’m guilty).
So for all you non-introverts now new to the isolation of sitting in your home during every waking moment of your existence, hopefully there’s something here that can help you get through this strange time, and maybe even reconnect with someone you haven’t hung out with in a while.
Let me start off first by saying:
If you and/or your friend(s) are constrained by any of the following:
- not residing in the same living space
- not having an infinite budget to spend on digital interactive media that highly talented programmers / artists / creators slaved away on in questionable working conditions so you could maybe consume for free
- not obligated / capable / willing to actively combat this pandemic like the legions of fearless & selfless healthcare & medical professionals out there doing the actual real work of saving the rest of us (which is also okay)
- not actively attempting to contract a highly contagious respiratory illness by venturing into the outside world; which honestly, even in non-apocalyptic conditions is a horrifying and scary place to exist
Then Steam Remote Play should allow you to share and play: over the wonderful infrastructural wonder of the internet; games you own with anyone you like; as if you were inviting them over to sit on your couch and grab a controller.
This digital layer of social distancing has the added bonus of:
- no one consuming your apocalypse rations / toilet paper
- no one sweating under the stress of competition and leaving a fetid musk cloud of barely-pubescent-man-child scent hovering over your couch
- no one being forced to wear clothes and/or underwear as these are now optional for socializing. The beauty of quarantined freedom will not brand you an exhibitionist.
All of these come with the minor added benefit of digitally co-inhabiting a space with someone you care about and saving the world; fighting some spooky monsters; competing for the accumulation of arbitrary digital currency; killing Nazis; or cooking up some dope delicious food.
Imagine: a world where you could do all these fantastical activities without the gross messiness of physical interaction.
What a beautiful age we reside in.
Now, of this cornucopia of multiplayer games I played this year, there was one game that stood out for me in particular:
The below is just a transcription of the trailer, which I copy-paste-edit-corrected from a Youtube comment of this random user. Because fuck if I can describe Crawl better, I know my limitations. Feel free to just scroll down when you’re done.
In the dark, beneath the world, you will find only ancient crawling beasts… and madness!
But you hunger for primordial magics, so you can play the hero for a time. Casting unnamed rituals, in the dark. But when death does come in those shadows where the old gods wake, you are not free to die, but rise again as abominations, deranged and delirious; you become the beasts!
You bear the horns and flash the teeth; you breath the flames and throw the blades; you raise the dead and slice and hack against that pallid human meat. Be the haunter in the dark; the spectral lurker in the halls; and bring those decaying catacombs to life and break the so called hero with traps and claws and spells, just as you were broken.
But the void is awash with phantoms. Some may have even been companions in another life. And when you gut the human, taking over in his place, you face a raging, shattering, palpating torrent of beasts where every rat and rotting ghoul, every trap and snake and beak abomination is driven by those tricky specters of the void.
Build an arsenal: from magics to enchanted flaming blades; and carve a bloody trench towards the gate. And through that gate: stand against the great colossal horrors of the void; battle tentacles and teeth and pulsing other-worldly eyes. Or as a spirit, be the one who does possess them: those monstrous, rotting keepers of the elder gods; and pay no heed toward the black and vile buzzing in your thoughts. The mouth-less voice that blooms and drips from darkest corners of your mind. “Break the human!”, you will bark, beneath the glow of liquid crystal; static crackling as controllers twitch and bend and you eyeball your companions as they squirm and throb and sweat beneath the 40 inch incandescent screen. That silicon and plastic portal to the void through which no ancient thing could reach from beneath the tide of eons. And with a finger, vast and awful, touch your mind.
Crawl awaits, “It’s just a game!”, you will laugh.
Yeah… that’s all I got. This game is a beautiful mixture of competitiveness and cooperation and just a ball of frenetic fun that filled me with laughter and desperation to no end. You’ll need Remote Play or some other equivalent to play with other quarantined friends, but we already handled that ;)
But what if you’re like me, and you’re taking this time of self-quarantine where everyone is just trying to stay connected to only isolate yourself even further?
What if you’re hipster isolating?!
Take a moment, and breathe.
Maybe you’re actually just stressed out, or need someone to listen.
Maybe you’re just looking to help: in a small way to combat this quarantined-imposed feeling of helplessness; to give an encouraging word to someone who might really need it.
Or maybe you’re just looking for a positive place to zone out, work, or recharge in.
Kind Words is really only one thing: a simple digital, anonymous mailbox where you can send and receive small notes and letters, in the comforting, soothing envelopment of its lo-fi soundtrack.
And maybe, that’s really all it needs to be.
So that concludes my highly sarcastic but also extremely deadpan Social Distancing Survival Guide! Here is a quick list of some other great multiplayer games that I’ve played in the past year-or-so that would also make great additions to your Remote Play-enhanced library in no particular order!
Overcooked 1 & 2 by Ghost Town Games @ ghosttowngames.com/overcooked
Stellaris by Paradox Development Studio @ paradoxplaza.com/stellaris
Remnant: From the Ashes by Gunfire Games @ remnantgame.com
Dying Light by Techland @ dyinglightgame.com/dyinglight
Battle Chef Brigade by Trinket Studios @ battlechefbrigade.com
Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime by Asteroid Base @ loversinadangerousspacetime.com
Mordhau by Triternion @ mordhau.com
Dota Underlords by Valve @ underlords.com
Apex Legends by Respawn Entertainment @ ea.com/games/apex-legends
Armello by League of Geeks @ armello.com
Killer Queen Black by Liquid Bit, LLC & BumbleBear Games @ killerqueenblack.com
And of course,
Crawl by Powerhoof @ powerhoof.com/crawl
Kind Words (lo fi chill beats to write to) by Popcannibal @ popcannibal.com/kindwords
Thanks for reading!
